Category Archives: Rest

Dec30

Imperfect Passion

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Teri

Teri in the Tetons

I haven’t been posting anything lately. You probably noticed.

November and December have traditionally been down months for me. But, never “drop off the face of the earth” kind of months as these past two months have been. I felt a heavy hand on me like God was holding me back, asking me to completely unplug.

It hasn’t been a bad thing. In fact, it’s actually been kinda sweet. Like God and I have been holding up in a  log cabin in the backwoods of the mountains somewhere. Away from civilization. Away from the craziness of the electronic age…

It’s kinda been like Little House on the Prairie.

(I’m not kidding. There’s a pink tractor in the driveway of the house across the street. Beyond that, corn fields… Endless cornfields…)

In the past, I’ve always received some huge, earth shaking revelation about what’s next when God has sequestered me away.

This time, however, it’s been just a quiet reassurance that God is who God says He is. “I am that I am…”

In the past, that would have really ticked me off. I’m a doer; a goer. I’m a super overachiever who is always hungry for the next mountain top – the next big dream. I would have been crying out, “What next, Papa!!”

I’m also afraid of what people think of me. The thought of shutting down for two months scared me. The idea of coming back with a post after a long break…well…was frankly terrifying. What would you think of me?

  • Have I been afraid that we’d lose the momentum that was gained in 2012? Yep.
  • Have I been frightened that people would think I’d given up on my Kingdom Dream? Yep.
  • Have I been scared that I heard wrong? Maybe God was saying “you slug” not “unplug”? Oh yeah.

This time was different, though.

I was only afraid for a moment. Then I just…relaxed…breathed…and enjoyed…

If you know me very well, you’re probably in shock right now. Those are things I don’t do well!

Funny how God works, eh? It’s like He really means to complete His work in us.

So, I’m back. Imperfectly but passionately pursuing Jesus with everything I have inside me.

I have no idea what’s coming next for me and this dream.

Yet, I am refreshed, renewed, and totally stoked about the God we serve.

I pray you are refreshed and ready for 2013. I have a feeling it’s going to be another adventurous year.

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”

God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.

We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!

We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!”  Romans 8:15-17 The Message

Nov13

Don’t Miss the Dream Giver

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Teri

Has it really been two weeks since the last post?! Yep.

Oh well. Life has a way of picking you up and sweeping you away in it’s tide.

I’m finding a rhythm in this new life of mine and it looks a lot like a roller coaster. A few months will be fast paced, chuck full, and topsy-turvy, and then there will be a month or two when I’m trying to catch my breath in preparation for the next hill.

I’ve been at the bottom of the hill trying to get my heart to stop beating out of my chest and my lungs to stop burning.

(Deep breath…)

These past two weeks for me have been a very sweet time with my Lord and Savior.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Quiet…sweet…filling….

This was the entry in my journal this morning;

“I love to be part of your Kingdom dream. I love being in the journey. And I love discovering the dream you placed in my heart. But, after all that…after all the striving ceases…there is only you.”

God is with me in the crazy loop-d-loops and in the not-so-thrilling valleys. And he’s there when the ride stops.

Once again I reminded:

The dream is never more important than the Dream Giver.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing; whether you are serving as a missionary in Cambodia, or working in a corporate office juggling a family and running kids hither and tither, or unemployed and looking for work. It doesn’t matter. It’s easy to forget God. It’s easy to get caught up in life and problems and busyness.

The only way I’ve found to keep this in check, is to be intentional about having down times. Time to reconnect with God, reflect, and rejuvenate. If you don’t have built-in down times, then you have taken ownership of your own life. You’re missing the most glorious aspect of living and that is a thriving relationship with Jesus.

And, let me tell you…you’re missing too much.

May your week be filled with the sweetness of his presence.

Sep5

What I’m Meant to Carry

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Teri

I’ve been really busy the last couple of weeks. So busy that I’ve been letting things drop that shouldn’t be dropped.

It’s like all of my weaknesses are tugging at my shirt sleeve vying for attention, “Look at me!” I feel every ounce of the weight of my inadequacies.

If only I was better at this. I really should have done that differently. I shouldn’t have waited on this.

I go to bed knowing I didn’t get enough done and that tomorrow will be more of the same.

AH! I can feel the avalanche overtaking me now. I’m going under…

Ever feel like that?

From what I can tell, I’m not the only who has been stuck in the cycle of taking on more than my capacity and then caving under the heavy weight.

I’m not going to offer tips and techniques for managing the cycle; there are plenty of books on the shelves already.

Instead, I just offer a few thoughts I’m leaning on this morning…

I was specifically designed with this capacity. When I hit a personal capacity boundary, I’m reminded there is too much on my plate. It helps me remember I can rely on God’s strength. And that I have an opportunity to partner with others who have different strengths that compliment my weaknesses.

God is not dismayed or disappointed in me. Instead, he invites me to come closer. It’s there where he whispers words of comfort and hope. In his arms, I find wisdom, power, and truth. He leads me. He guides me. He strengthens me. He opens the doors I need opened and closes the doors that need to be closed.

I choose to sacrifice anything from my to-do list that wasn’t meant for me to carry. I will let those things go. I won’t steal the opportunity from someone else if it was meant for them to do. And I’ll let the unimportant stuff go undone.

I’ll ask for help when I need it. And I’ll look for creative, synergistic ways to partner with others.

I will focus on doing what God lays before me and will do it with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And I’ll go to bed tired and wake up refreshed.

Lord God, thank you for making us wacky and wonderful. Thank you for wiring us the way you do. Thank you for inviting us into your Kingdom work. Give us wisdom, strength, and power covered by your grace and love.

May your day be filled with the freshness of carrying a load that is just right for you.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

Jul30

Daddy, I Want To Be Loved On

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Teri

I’m in Minnesota now for a couple of weeks of well needed rest. I’m hanging out with my daughter Lily. She’s seven and she’s a blast. I work about six hours each morning, then play the rest of the day with her.

Yes, some things won’t get done.  Yes, I won’t get some of my actions steps delivered in the timeline I’d like.

Yet, I have learned a few things over the years of parenting. Something I wished I would have learned when my two older children were seven…summers go by too quickly and kids grow up too fast.

Sometimes the most life happens when you slow down.

It’s there…

……………………

Sorry. I was interrupted by a beautiful little girl with freckles dotting her nose. She leaned over me and with big blue eyes said, “Mommie? I want to be loved on.”

Yeah. Had to stop for that.

As I held her, I asked the question, “Lily? What’s your big dream?”

Then I got a glimpse into her precious, little heart.
I promised not to share the details. (Mom, you can’t put this on Facebook, okay?)

First, I found out what a a big Sci-fi fan like her mom. Our fav show being Doctor Who. (Yes, I guard what she watches.)

Secondly, I got to see that there is a little heart of justice rising up. She wants to fight bad guys. The seeds of a little warrior princess are being sewn. (Here is some of that exchange…)

Lily: Mom? Why does Doctor Who always want to help the bad guys?

Mom: Well honey, he thinks that everyone needs grace and mercy. He’s like Jesus in that way. He always gives them a chance and a choice.

Lily: That’s a lot of work, isn’t it Mom?

Mom: Yep. It’s a lot harder than just giving up on them.

Lily: Jesus must think they’re worth it.

Mom: Yep. He does.

It’s in these times when I realize how my Heavenly Father feels.

How he delights when we crawl up into his lap and say, “Daddy, I want to be loved on.”

How he adores it when we share our big dreams with him.

And how much he wants to see them come to life and maturity in us. The desires of our hearts…living out in us, through us, and for the Kingdom of God.

Sometimes the most amount of life happens when you slow down…

Have you crawled up into his lap lately?

 

 

Jul12

Defined By the Spaces

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Teri

God called me to a season of rest this summer. I resisted at first. It sounded so dull, boring, and  unproductive.

God is smarter than me, however, because after the last three chaotic years when literally every single aspect of my life changed, I actually have needed rest. Hummmm… go figure. God was right after all.

So, I’ve been surrendering to this season of rest and trying to welcome her in like a long awaited guest.

Come to find out, she’s pretty cool. I think I could get used to her company…

I’m finding out she is infinitely more interesting and productive than I ever imagined.

Most people don’t know what a season of rest looks like. “Do you just sleep and lay around all day long eating bonbons and strawberries?”

Well, that’s not what it’s looked like for me.

For me, I still work three odd jobs, homeschool my daughter, work on the ministry, and continue to punch the keys as I plug along through a novel I’m writing.

But, I do leave more…space…in my schedule.

There are more significant chunks of rest woven into my daily routine that aren’t slated for any critical activity.

I used to think the world would forget how to function if I wasn’t fully engaged in it. Come to find out, it plods along rather nicely even when my cape is still hung up on the wall.

I sit more, I sleep more, I relax more, I laugh more,
I dance more, I think more, I remember more, I see more…

It’s in the spaces where you see more opportunities to live deeply.

It’s there when I find creative ways to love richly.

And it’s in the space between life’s demands where I hear God more clearly.

Here are just a few things we’ve been pondering together:

  • God has spoken to my heart to remind me of  my true identity as a teacher and a mother and an adventurer. He’s helping me be better at all three.
  • God is giving me a deeper understanding of what true redemption looks like.
  • How to find Christ through the storyline. The novel is growing in beauty in ways I could never have cognitively seen.
  • How driving myself so hard makes life about me and my immediate needs. And how preoccupied with my own deals I get.
  • How to hear and see God in the mundane and in the spectacular,  in the safety and in the adventure.

Even though things have slowed down considerably,  somehow God makes me more effective.

I’m not sure how it works but I am blown away by it.

You mean that the burden I carry is actually light and the yoke upon me is actually easy? Huh. Imagine that.

The challenge is to really, seriously scrutinize your daily activity. My guess is that there is a lot of business that you have filled your life with that in the end analysis isn’t where God would have you spending your time.

Is there an adequate amount of space built in to your life? Margin for rest throughout your day?

My guess is that for most of you, you are in need of some rich, infinitely delectable, and extremely productive rest.

God has a story to tell with your life. And he often uses the spaces to define the outline.

“I think my work has to do with a sense that we are attempting, all the time, to create a logical, rational path through the day. To the left and right there are an amazing set of distractions that we usually can’t afford to follow. But the poet is willing to stop anywhere. . . . And it’s that willingness to slow down and examine the mysterious bits of fluff in our lives that is the poet’s interest.” William Collins

Jun25

The Dream Four Years Later

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Teri

Four years ago this week,  I was in the Grand Teton Mountains on a high ridge overlooking the entire eastern valley and dreaming about the next season of my life. Deep down, I knew God was moving me to a whole new future.

I can’t think of many better places to try and figure out your next steps but on top of a mountain in Wyoming.

I caught a glimpse of a really big dream I felt God was showing me. I took out my journal and ended up writing for about three hours about this thing called, the “Kingdom Dreams Network.”

The goals of this network were to:

  • WAKE UP: Wake up the Body of Believers to their God-given passion and dream.
  • MOBILIZE: Help people come alive to their part of God’s Kingdom work here on earth.
  • CONNECT: Connect dreamers who shared similar passions.

I want to see a world where all believers are fully alive to
all God created them to be and do.

Lofty dream I know. But, God is a big God and I’m pretty sure God told me it is a long-term gig.

How was I supposed to do this thing?  I had no idea.

Four years later, we have some traction and a little movement toward this dream. I didn’t really expect to be traveling around in a red mini-van and living based on Luke 10 principles. But, I also didn’t expect to meet over 3,000 dreamers the first year.

On the College Tour this spring,  I felt God pressing on my heart to take the summer to rest – to take a breather from the dream and from the road and rest my body, my mind, my soul, and my passion.

It’s been nearly two months now, and I can feel my insides churning to get back out on the road. The passion is rising again. There are just too many believers out there not living the abundant life…too many dreams not being dreamed…too much work to do that’s not getting done.

But, the summer isn’t over yet.

This week, I could feel God pressing on me again to keep resting. It was the kind of hard pressing that happens when you are about to do something stupid and God is trying to save you from yourself. 

Urgh! I didn’t know resting was so hard to do!

The longer I walk on this dream journey, the more I see God’s hand working in merciful and compassionate ways.

It came to me this weekend while watching the first Harry Potter movie again. Harry was sitting in front of a magical mirror that showed his deepest desires – his greatest dreams.  He had been sitting there a long time.

Professor Dumbledore came to give him a gentle reminder, “It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.”

I was on the verge of becoming too obsessed with the dream. It’s easy to get wrapped up in living out your calling. Even living  for Jesus can get twisted in our minds to something that is more about us than it is about him.

It’s another tension we have to live in.

We need to hold fast to the dream and never give up…

yet…

We need to hold even tighter to Jesus.

I’ve come to trust in God’s timing even though I find it hard to wait. I trust God is moving even when I feel like I’m sitting still.

And I know that Jesus is even more important to me than the dream he gave me four years ago.

So, I rest and trust and wait.

To be honest, I am still a little worn out from the past four years of this journey.

I can’t tell you I’m not afraid that I’m not hearing God correctly.

I can’t tell you that I’m not afraid of losing the momentum that’s been started.

I can’t tell you I’m not afraid I’m going to miss out on something.

And, to be brutally honest, I can’t tell you I’m not afraid that some people might think I”m just being lazy and unproductive. Or that I might not think that about myself on occasion.

Yet…I also trust that if I’m not moving and I need to get moving that God can give me a kick start anytime he chooses.

So…I rest in obedience and trust that God is a big God and cares about me.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40″30-31