For awhile I felt like a loser. Seemed like God gave me a dream and I let it drop, kersplat.
I tried – I really did. But, about three months into it, I realized I (empahsis on me, myself, and I) was trying to force it. The whole point of the Dream Tour was for it to be spirit-led, God directed, and organic.
I was trying to build a program.
So, I did the only thing I know to do in such situations; ask. seek, knock, with a whole lotta prayer and fasting.
You know what?
God wasn’t asking me to make it a program; a self-sufficient, effective ministry. He is asking me to just walk with him, each and every day, and do what I see the Father doing.
“So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.” John 5:19
Don’t get me wrong, I love self-sufficient, organized, effective programs. Love ‘em. In fact, most of my adult career has been about building them.
Four years ago, I felt a small whisper in my heart that told me God was going to do a new thing in my life. He was unplugging me from my tradition view of what ministry looked like.
That’s when I quit my job at the church. That’s when I started making nutty decisions like selling everything and moving to Georgia to work for a mission organization. That’s when I willingly got into my van with a handful of others and took off on a crazy journey across the U.S. we called the Dream Tour. Which we did five times. And it was great. Very hard, but so good. We saw God show up in ways I never dreamed possible.
But then, I tried to make it into something we could put on a calendar, build fund raising around, and market. Again, I’m not saying that’s wrong. I am saying it is wrong for me. That is not what I see the Father doing.
You know what?
That scares the bejeebies out of me. You’re talking to someone who used to teach Franklin Time Management. I really like having my six month, one year, and five year plan laid out.
You know what else?
I’m not the only one this is happening to. Seems like it’s kind of a move of God right now. Less programmed ministries, more organic seasons of ministry, more spirit-led activity on an as-needed basis. More and more perfectly rational Christ-followers are feeling called to the same kind of irrational lifestyle.
We’re stringing together odd jobs to make ends meet, we’re moving around as we feel led, and we’re watching for any and all opportunities to do the ministry God has gifted us to do.
I’m called to be a coach, writer, and dreamer.
I’m supposed to be in the “Ministry of Push” - pushing others to follow their Kingdom purposes and dreams.Ever need a good shove to get you past being stuck at the threshold of fear? Well, that’s what I do. I help give you a push to get the bicycle rolling.
So…I do that whenever the opportunity arises, as it arises. There may be another Dream Tour. There may not. I just not supposed to try and make it happen.
I supposed to let God lead by opening or closing doors or by telling me (see these posts about hearing from God; here and here and here.) The rest of my time is spent doing the other important callings like being a good mom, daughter, friend, employee, evangelist, etc.
(Yeah…that doesn’t leave a whole lotta room for T.V. and video games. Well, none actually.)
I’m not exactly sure what it’s supposed to look like.
I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing it well. But, I am sure God is on the move in America. And I am sure I want to be close enough to clearly see what my Father is doing so I can join him.
I think this is what dreaming of God’s Kingdom here on earth looks like. The journey isn’t a perfectly smooth arc, it’s messy, organic, and filled with pot holes. At least that’s my take on the journey’s of the Biblical heroes. Abraham’s sojourn didn’t exactly follow any project plan. Moses, Joseph, David, and Paul seemed to be going with the flow rather than directing it.
(I hope that’s the truth otherwise, I’m really, really screwed.)
What are you called to do?