Category Archives: Rhythm

Jun10

Dreaming in the Real World

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Teri

Teri curly - smI haven’t launched a Dream Tour since last October.

For awhile I felt like a loser. Seemed like God gave me a dream and I let it drop, kersplat.

I tried – I really did. But, about three months into it, I realized I (empahsis on me, myself, and I) was trying to force it. The whole point of the Dream Tour was for it to be spirit-led, God directed, and organic.

I was trying to build a program.

So, I did the only thing I know to do in such situations; ask. seek, knock, with a whole lotta prayer and fasting.

You know what?

God wasn’t asking me to make it a program; a self-sufficient, effective ministry. He is asking me to just walk with him, each and every day, and do what I see the Father doing.

“So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.” John 5:19

Weird, eh?

Don’t get me wrong, I love self-sufficient, organized, effective programs. Love ‘em. In fact, most of my adult career has been about building them.

Four years ago, I felt a small whisper in my heart that told me God was going to do a new thing in my life. He was unplugging me from my tradition view of what ministry looked like.

That’s when I quit my job at the church. That’s when I started making nutty decisions like selling everything and moving to Georgia to work for a mission organization. That’s when I willingly got into my van with a handful of others and took off on a crazy journey across the U.S. we called the Dream Tour. Which we did five times. And it was great. Very hard, but so good. We saw God show up in ways I never dreamed possible.

But then, I tried to make it into something we could put on a calendar, build fund raising around, and market. Again, I’m not saying that’s wrong. I am saying it is wrong for me. That is not what I see the Father doing.

walking with jesusI think the road ahead for me is more organic, much more flexible, and much less programmed.

You know what?

That scares the bejeebies out of me. You’re talking to someone who used to teach Franklin Time Management. I really like having my six month, one year, and five year plan laid out.

You know what else?

I’m not the only one this is happening to. Seems like it’s kind of a move of God right now. Less programmed ministries, more organic seasons of ministry, more spirit-led activity on an as-needed basis. More and more perfectly rational Christ-followers are feeling called to the same kind of irrational lifestyle.

We’re stringing together odd jobs to make ends meet, we’re moving around as we feel led, and we’re watching for any and all opportunities to do the ministry God has gifted us to do.

I’m called to be a coach, writer, and dreamer.

I’m supposed to be in the “Ministry of Push” - pushing others to follow their Kingdom purposes and dreams.Ever need a good shove to get you past being stuck at the threshold of fear? Well, that’s what I do. I help give you a push to get the bicycle rolling.

So…I do that whenever the opportunity arises, as it arises. There may be another Dream Tour. There may not. I just not supposed to try and make it happen.

I supposed to let God lead by opening or closing doors or by telling me (see these posts about hearing from God; here and here and here.) The rest of my time is spent doing the other important callings like being a good mom, daughter, friend, employee, evangelist, etc.

(Yeah…that doesn’t leave a whole lotta room for T.V. and video games. Well, none actually.)

I’m not exactly sure what it’s supposed to look like.

I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing it well. But, I am sure God is on the move in America. And I am sure I want to be close enough to clearly see what my Father is doing so I can join him.

I think this is what dreaming of God’s Kingdom here on earth looks like. The journey isn’t a perfectly smooth arc, it’s messy, organic, and filled with pot holes. At least that’s my take on the journey’s of the Biblical heroes. Abraham’s sojourn didn’t exactly follow any project plan. Moses, Joseph, David, and Paul seemed to be going with the flow rather than directing it.

(I hope that’s the truth otherwise, I’m really, really screwed.)

What are you called to do?

Jun3

Building Altars

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Teri

Teri curly - smLast week, breakthrough happened for me. A couple insurmountable mountains crumbled into manageable mounds.

Do you know what I had to do to get it done? Wait and trust.

(Those seem to be two of the hardest things for humans to do. At least it is for me.)

Breakthrough…

I really like the sound of that word.

Breakfree…

That’s even better.

I haven’t learned nearly as much as I’d like to yet, but one thing I have learned on this journey is the importance of REMEMBERING the breakthroughs. They are far too easy to forget the next time you’re stuck.

When God breaks you free from something, no matter how small,
you need to take the time and commit the energy to remember it.

finger rememberThe concept of remembering is splattered on a whole lotta pages in the Bible.  It’s important to God that you remember his work.

In the old days, they built altars.

In the newer days, they broke bread and drank wine together.

I’ve tried altars, but they weren’t very meaningful to me. Material things never seem to trip my trigger.

Seems like recording them, writing them, strikes the right chord for me.

Writing is meaningful to me.

This year, I’m trying an experiment. I’m going through all my journals (that’s a bunch) and pulling out every single breakthrough (answer to prayers) I can find. I’m writing them in a “Remember Journal”. I bought a really spiffy leather journal that will stand the test of time.

I’m planning on throwing a party to remember and celebrate all the ways God has been faithful in my life. I’ll invite some close friends and family and break bread and drink wine together. Then I’m going to share the highlights of my journal and ask them to bring some memories of their own to share. It’s going to be some a grand shindig!

I’ll continue to write in my journal and mark big breakthroughs with a celebration. Hopefully, I’ll have several journals and dozens of parties before I’m done with this journey.

I guess it’s my way of building an altar.

And the next time I need breakthrough, the next time I’m struggling to wait and trust, I just open my break free journal and remember that I can wait and trust with joy because God is so faithful.

“From there he (Abraham) moved to the hill country on the east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. And there he built an altar to the Lord and called upon the name of the Lord.” Genesis 12:8

Mar27

A Season of ‘RE’

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Teri

Teri in the TetonsThese past few months have been a time of redefining, refining, and realigning. That’s a lot of “RE”.

It has been one of the sweetest times with the Lord I can remember as we’ve spent a lot of time in quiet communion.

But, I can felt the wind shifting and know my sails are starting to billow once more. I am a wanderer, an explorer, an adventurer and I can feel myself straining to see what’s around the river bend.

One of the biggest lessons of my season of “RE” is a readjustment of the expectations of my own performance. I guess I got to thinking I was capable of much more than I really was. Or maybe it was that I thought I should be able to do much more?

I’ve been labeled ‘super-overachiever’ more than once. Okay, so more than a lot of times. Truth is, I have a achieved a lot. Not nearly as much as many others, but probably more than most.

It’s been really, really hard work. I love hard work. I love the feeling of accomplishment after you pour blood, sweat, tears, and life juice into something. And I’ve experienced some really wonderful fruit from that labor.

What I’m learning is when you work in rhythm with Jesus, the work isn’t hard and the fruit much more plentiful.

What do I mean? Honestly, I’m still in the process of figuring it out. But, I’ll try to explain. It’s pretty fresh and a bit rough, but here it is…

God said, “You are a dream guide who helps others toward their Kingdom dreams.”

I said, “Okay, so we’ll build a five-pronged approach to coaching; outreach, an academy, a dream ranch, a web portal, and a training/conference platform.”

God said, “Go on a Luke 10 journey.”

I said, “Okay, so we’ll go for 6 months in RVs. No, we’ll have to break it into smaller chunks. We’ll go into 40 day increments and it will be partly marketing, partly faith building, partly training, partly outreach, and partly coaching. Wow, that’s a lot of partly’s. Hummm…maybe we’ll have all the stops planned and camp. Or maybe we’ll have some of the stops planned and leave some for an Ask The Lord (ATL). Or maybe we should just get in the car and go?”

God said, “Write the stories I give you.”

I said, “I don’t know how. I don’t have time. I don’t know how to get them published. I don’t know how to edit. I don’t think I can do it.”

Do you see any patterns developing here? strong_woman

I was far too concerned with expected outcomes, and a little too unconcerned with the simplicity of obedience.

In this season of “RE”, God is realigning my expectations. I don’t have to have a programmed ministry with feasible methodology and processed sustainability. I don’t have to blog five times a week, every week, nor do I have to keep up with social media. I don’t need a projected plan one, three, and five years out. And my credentials don’t have to be newsworthy to be a powerhouse for the Kingdom of God.

I only need to unapologetically obey.

Not that those things I mentioned are bad. Nope. Not at all.

However, those things will get in the way if it is not what God is asking me to do.

And, that has been my story. I did want to be obedient, and for the most part, I have. However, if I were brutally honest, the other reason I’ve strived so hard is that I worried too much about what the world would think of my success or failure.

Ug….when God wants you to reevaluate your motives, it can get ugly!

Currently, I’m a single parent who works four small part-time jobs to try to make it financially. I have three beautiful children to love. I have incredible family and friends to do life with. I have a few dreamers to encourage. I have an awesome and mighty God to engage with and obey. And I’m trying to write the stories He gives me in the spaces in-between.

Right now, that is all I can manage and still be joyfully expectant and unapologetically obedient.

I pray each day for leading. I listen. I seek. Then I go about my day with a heart positioned for God’s interruption if He so pleases. And let me tell you, when God interrupts, He does it with great style and always with incredible results.

AHHHHHH…..Obedience, the new green…

Dec30

Imperfect Passion

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Teri

Teri in the Tetons

I haven’t been posting anything lately. You probably noticed.

November and December have traditionally been down months for me. But, never “drop off the face of the earth” kind of months as these past two months have been. I felt a heavy hand on me like God was holding me back, asking me to completely unplug.

It hasn’t been a bad thing. In fact, it’s actually been kinda sweet. Like God and I have been holding up in a  log cabin in the backwoods of the mountains somewhere. Away from civilization. Away from the craziness of the electronic age…

It’s kinda been like Little House on the Prairie.

(I’m not kidding. There’s a pink tractor in the driveway of the house across the street. Beyond that, corn fields… Endless cornfields…)

In the past, I’ve always received some huge, earth shaking revelation about what’s next when God has sequestered me away.

This time, however, it’s been just a quiet reassurance that God is who God says He is. “I am that I am…”

In the past, that would have really ticked me off. I’m a doer; a goer. I’m a super overachiever who is always hungry for the next mountain top – the next big dream. I would have been crying out, “What next, Papa!!”

I’m also afraid of what people think of me. The thought of shutting down for two months scared me. The idea of coming back with a post after a long break…well…was frankly terrifying. What would you think of me?

  • Have I been afraid that we’d lose the momentum that was gained in 2012? Yep.
  • Have I been frightened that people would think I’d given up on my Kingdom Dream? Yep.
  • Have I been scared that I heard wrong? Maybe God was saying “you slug” not “unplug”? Oh yeah.

This time was different, though.

I was only afraid for a moment. Then I just…relaxed…breathed…and enjoyed…

If you know me very well, you’re probably in shock right now. Those are things I don’t do well!

Funny how God works, eh? It’s like He really means to complete His work in us.

So, I’m back. Imperfectly but passionately pursuing Jesus with everything I have inside me.

I have no idea what’s coming next for me and this dream.

Yet, I am refreshed, renewed, and totally stoked about the God we serve.

I pray you are refreshed and ready for 2013. I have a feeling it’s going to be another adventurous year.

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”

God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.

We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!

We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!”  Romans 8:15-17 The Message

Nov13

Don’t Miss the Dream Giver

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Teri

Has it really been two weeks since the last post?! Yep.

Oh well. Life has a way of picking you up and sweeping you away in it’s tide.

I’m finding a rhythm in this new life of mine and it looks a lot like a roller coaster. A few months will be fast paced, chuck full, and topsy-turvy, and then there will be a month or two when I’m trying to catch my breath in preparation for the next hill.

I’ve been at the bottom of the hill trying to get my heart to stop beating out of my chest and my lungs to stop burning.

(Deep breath…)

These past two weeks for me have been a very sweet time with my Lord and Savior.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Quiet…sweet…filling….

This was the entry in my journal this morning;

“I love to be part of your Kingdom dream. I love being in the journey. And I love discovering the dream you placed in my heart. But, after all that…after all the striving ceases…there is only you.”

God is with me in the crazy loop-d-loops and in the not-so-thrilling valleys. And he’s there when the ride stops.

Once again I reminded:

The dream is never more important than the Dream Giver.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing; whether you are serving as a missionary in Cambodia, or working in a corporate office juggling a family and running kids hither and tither, or unemployed and looking for work. It doesn’t matter. It’s easy to forget God. It’s easy to get caught up in life and problems and busyness.

The only way I’ve found to keep this in check, is to be intentional about having down times. Time to reconnect with God, reflect, and rejuvenate. If you don’t have built-in down times, then you have taken ownership of your own life. You’re missing the most glorious aspect of living and that is a thriving relationship with Jesus.

And, let me tell you…you’re missing too much.

May your week be filled with the sweetness of his presence.

Sep28

Get This Book!

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My friend, Seth Barnes, just published a book about Kingdom Journeys. It’s a gotta read for any dreamer because in the end analysis, life is truly about the beauty of the journey. It will help ignite you, challenge you, and guide you through the lost spiritual discipline of the journey.

You can get it FREE today and tomorrow!

Check out his post here for more information…

Sep5

What I’m Meant to Carry

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Teri

I’ve been really busy the last couple of weeks. So busy that I’ve been letting things drop that shouldn’t be dropped.

It’s like all of my weaknesses are tugging at my shirt sleeve vying for attention, “Look at me!” I feel every ounce of the weight of my inadequacies.

If only I was better at this. I really should have done that differently. I shouldn’t have waited on this.

I go to bed knowing I didn’t get enough done and that tomorrow will be more of the same.

AH! I can feel the avalanche overtaking me now. I’m going under…

Ever feel like that?

From what I can tell, I’m not the only who has been stuck in the cycle of taking on more than my capacity and then caving under the heavy weight.

I’m not going to offer tips and techniques for managing the cycle; there are plenty of books on the shelves already.

Instead, I just offer a few thoughts I’m leaning on this morning…

I was specifically designed with this capacity. When I hit a personal capacity boundary, I’m reminded there is too much on my plate. It helps me remember I can rely on God’s strength. And that I have an opportunity to partner with others who have different strengths that compliment my weaknesses.

God is not dismayed or disappointed in me. Instead, he invites me to come closer. It’s there where he whispers words of comfort and hope. In his arms, I find wisdom, power, and truth. He leads me. He guides me. He strengthens me. He opens the doors I need opened and closes the doors that need to be closed.

I choose to sacrifice anything from my to-do list that wasn’t meant for me to carry. I will let those things go. I won’t steal the opportunity from someone else if it was meant for them to do. And I’ll let the unimportant stuff go undone.

I’ll ask for help when I need it. And I’ll look for creative, synergistic ways to partner with others.

I will focus on doing what God lays before me and will do it with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And I’ll go to bed tired and wake up refreshed.

Lord God, thank you for making us wacky and wonderful. Thank you for wiring us the way you do. Thank you for inviting us into your Kingdom work. Give us wisdom, strength, and power covered by your grace and love.

May your day be filled with the freshness of carrying a load that is just right for you.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

Jul12

Defined By the Spaces

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Teri

God called me to a season of rest this summer. I resisted at first. It sounded so dull, boring, and  unproductive.

God is smarter than me, however, because after the last three chaotic years when literally every single aspect of my life changed, I actually have needed rest. Hummmm… go figure. God was right after all.

So, I’ve been surrendering to this season of rest and trying to welcome her in like a long awaited guest.

Come to find out, she’s pretty cool. I think I could get used to her company…

I’m finding out she is infinitely more interesting and productive than I ever imagined.

Most people don’t know what a season of rest looks like. “Do you just sleep and lay around all day long eating bonbons and strawberries?”

Well, that’s not what it’s looked like for me.

For me, I still work three odd jobs, homeschool my daughter, work on the ministry, and continue to punch the keys as I plug along through a novel I’m writing.

But, I do leave more…space…in my schedule.

There are more significant chunks of rest woven into my daily routine that aren’t slated for any critical activity.

I used to think the world would forget how to function if I wasn’t fully engaged in it. Come to find out, it plods along rather nicely even when my cape is still hung up on the wall.

I sit more, I sleep more, I relax more, I laugh more,
I dance more, I think more, I remember more, I see more…

It’s in the spaces where you see more opportunities to live deeply.

It’s there when I find creative ways to love richly.

And it’s in the space between life’s demands where I hear God more clearly.

Here are just a few things we’ve been pondering together:

  • God has spoken to my heart to remind me of  my true identity as a teacher and a mother and an adventurer. He’s helping me be better at all three.
  • God is giving me a deeper understanding of what true redemption looks like.
  • How to find Christ through the storyline. The novel is growing in beauty in ways I could never have cognitively seen.
  • How driving myself so hard makes life about me and my immediate needs. And how preoccupied with my own deals I get.
  • How to hear and see God in the mundane and in the spectacular,  in the safety and in the adventure.

Even though things have slowed down considerably,  somehow God makes me more effective.

I’m not sure how it works but I am blown away by it.

You mean that the burden I carry is actually light and the yoke upon me is actually easy? Huh. Imagine that.

The challenge is to really, seriously scrutinize your daily activity. My guess is that there is a lot of business that you have filled your life with that in the end analysis isn’t where God would have you spending your time.

Is there an adequate amount of space built in to your life? Margin for rest throughout your day?

My guess is that for most of you, you are in need of some rich, infinitely delectable, and extremely productive rest.

God has a story to tell with your life. And he often uses the spaces to define the outline.

“I think my work has to do with a sense that we are attempting, all the time, to create a logical, rational path through the day. To the left and right there are an amazing set of distractions that we usually can’t afford to follow. But the poet is willing to stop anywhere. . . . And it’s that willingness to slow down and examine the mysterious bits of fluff in our lives that is the poet’s interest.” William Collins

Jun27

Taking a Rest from Not Enough

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Teri

A couple days ago I talked about God calling me to spend the summer resting up for the next season of the Dream Tour.

I confess that I don’t do it very well.

This resting gig has pointed out another thing in me that isn’t very attractive…funny how that happens, eh? Well not really funny, but you know what I mean.

SO…I’m working three odd jobs to help make ends meet, I’m spending about 20 hours a week on the ministry, writing, and coaching, I’m homeschooling my daughter 2-3 hours a day, I’m writing on the novel about 10 hours a week, and living the life of a single parent.

Yet…I don’t feel like I’m doing enough.

I just took two and a half days off from any work and thought I was going to die.

I continue to fall into the trap of “never enough”. There just is never enough money or money. I’m just never smart or effective enough. I’m never a good enough mom or coach or person. I am just not enough.

Okay…I thought I had already dealt with that issue and had moved on.

Apparently not.

Or maybe this is just another layer to the onion of my garbage that God is peeling away?

Could it be that the “not enough” monster doesn’t get me quite as badly as it did, say, a year ago?  And maybe it won’t get me as badly a year from now?

Could it be that this is what it looks like to grow? Is this what it feels like when God transforms you?

Which leads me to another bit of tension we must live in as Christ-followers…

I’m not enough, but God is. It’s in my weakness and inadequacy God is more.

Ahhhh….

That’s a promise I like resting on. How about you?

 

Jun25

The Dream Four Years Later

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Teri

Four years ago this week,  I was in the Grand Teton Mountains on a high ridge overlooking the entire eastern valley and dreaming about the next season of my life. Deep down, I knew God was moving me to a whole new future.

I can’t think of many better places to try and figure out your next steps but on top of a mountain in Wyoming.

I caught a glimpse of a really big dream I felt God was showing me. I took out my journal and ended up writing for about three hours about this thing called, the “Kingdom Dreams Network.”

The goals of this network were to:

  • WAKE UP: Wake up the Body of Believers to their God-given passion and dream.
  • MOBILIZE: Help people come alive to their part of God’s Kingdom work here on earth.
  • CONNECT: Connect dreamers who shared similar passions.

I want to see a world where all believers are fully alive to
all God created them to be and do.

Lofty dream I know. But, God is a big God and I’m pretty sure God told me it is a long-term gig.

How was I supposed to do this thing?  I had no idea.

Four years later, we have some traction and a little movement toward this dream. I didn’t really expect to be traveling around in a red mini-van and living based on Luke 10 principles. But, I also didn’t expect to meet over 3,000 dreamers the first year.

On the College Tour this spring,  I felt God pressing on my heart to take the summer to rest – to take a breather from the dream and from the road and rest my body, my mind, my soul, and my passion.

It’s been nearly two months now, and I can feel my insides churning to get back out on the road. The passion is rising again. There are just too many believers out there not living the abundant life…too many dreams not being dreamed…too much work to do that’s not getting done.

But, the summer isn’t over yet.

This week, I could feel God pressing on me again to keep resting. It was the kind of hard pressing that happens when you are about to do something stupid and God is trying to save you from yourself. 

Urgh! I didn’t know resting was so hard to do!

The longer I walk on this dream journey, the more I see God’s hand working in merciful and compassionate ways.

It came to me this weekend while watching the first Harry Potter movie again. Harry was sitting in front of a magical mirror that showed his deepest desires – his greatest dreams.  He had been sitting there a long time.

Professor Dumbledore came to give him a gentle reminder, “It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.”

I was on the verge of becoming too obsessed with the dream. It’s easy to get wrapped up in living out your calling. Even living  for Jesus can get twisted in our minds to something that is more about us than it is about him.

It’s another tension we have to live in.

We need to hold fast to the dream and never give up…

yet…

We need to hold even tighter to Jesus.

I’ve come to trust in God’s timing even though I find it hard to wait. I trust God is moving even when I feel like I’m sitting still.

And I know that Jesus is even more important to me than the dream he gave me four years ago.

So, I rest and trust and wait.

To be honest, I am still a little worn out from the past four years of this journey.

I can’t tell you I’m not afraid that I’m not hearing God correctly.

I can’t tell you that I’m not afraid of losing the momentum that’s been started.

I can’t tell you I’m not afraid I’m going to miss out on something.

And, to be brutally honest, I can’t tell you I’m not afraid that some people might think I”m just being lazy and unproductive. Or that I might not think that about myself on occasion.

Yet…I also trust that if I’m not moving and I need to get moving that God can give me a kick start anytime he chooses.

So…I rest in obedience and trust that God is a big God and cares about me.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40″30-31