Leah is a team member from the first Dream Tour and my lovely daughter. Her dream to stir up revival through music is rolling right along and she’s seeing some fruit from it. She thought that once she launched into her Kingdom dream that things…well…might then get easier. What she’s finding out is that it’s not easier but it is better.
The past few weeks, I’ve been under relentless attack. Insomnia was my constant companion in the night. Fatigue my best friend in the day. My insecurities, my weaknesses, were being mercilessly prodded and provoked.
The old, wounded me, threatened to come back and make herself at home. The walls of distrust I’d fought so hard to bring down, were longing to shoot back up. I could even feel them trembling underneath the surface, waiting for me to give in.
Because I knew that I was under attack by the evil one, I cried out to the Lord. “Why have you allowed this attack? I’m not sure how much more I can take!! I need you to intervene! Step in! Save me!!” To my surprise, the attacks did not stop.
They did not stop the next day, or the next. When I cried out to the Lord, certain expectations of how he would intervene. I saw myself on the front lines of a battlefield, completely exposed and unprotected, getting pummeled and brutalized. My expectation was that he would remove me from this battle that I was clearly not prepared for. That he would remove me from the pain, from the beating. That would only make sense, right?
Just this past Sunday, two weeks into the ongoing battle, I got to meet with a dear friend. She told me to read Psalm 91 (from the Message). And I did, out loud. It read like this, “You who sit down in the High God’s presence, spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow”
… Now, on a side note, it’s important to understand this name for God in Hebrew, for it is crucial to getting the weight of this passage. Shaddai means ‘to overpower’ ‘to destroy’ ‘to overcome’. Shaddai names God the destroyer of darkness… Pretty fitting for what comes next…
“You who sit down in the High God’s presence, spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow, Say this: ‘God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe!’ That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you—under them you’re perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm. Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night, not flying arrows at noon. Not disease that prowls though the darkness, not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around, drop like flies right and left, no harm will even graze you. You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses. Yes, because God’s your refuge, the high God your very own home, Evil can’t get close to you, harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they’ll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling. You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path. ‘If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,’ says God, ‘I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party. I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!’ “
The coolest thing about this is that the Lord had brought me to Matthew 4:1-11 a couple weeks before, and these scriptures together gave me a revelation. Matthew 4:1-11 is when Jesus is lead into the wild by the Spirit to be tested. He was weak, and tired from fasting for forty days and nights. He was susceptible to temptation, but God allowed it. When the Devil tempts him, he rebukes him by quoting scripture. Jesus stops the Devil in all three of his tests. And then the Evil one leaves, and angels come to take care of Jesus’ needs. When I read this one again, the revelation hit.
Nowhere in that scripture does it say that Jesus’ felt strong and confident that He could over come the temptations. It doesn’t say he FELT anything, except weak and hungry, and the Spirit allowed the testing even when Jesus was in a weakened state! But it does say that Jesus rebuked him with scripture, with truth… even when he didn’t FEEL it… He knew it… and used it… like a weapon… A WEAPON!
In my being attacked, I thought that God’s intervention would consist of Him removing me from the front lines of the battle. That’s what I thought it looked like. That would have been a sufficient way of eliminating the pain.
But the beautiful part is that it hardly EVER looks like, what you think it will.
Instead of him taking me out of the front lines of the battlefield, he came and stood by me. Then He put on my helmet, my armor, my boots, gave me a sword and shield, then told me the strategy to win the battle! He did not remove me from the battle, as I thought. He prepared me for it!
He didn’t want me off the field. He wanted me with him, fighting! And I’m so glad it didn’t look like what I thought it would.
The dream journey is rarely about taking us out of the battle, but more often it’s about giving us better weapons and equipping us to use them. We’re praying for you today…all saints everywhere…that God is your refuge.