Apr8

There Is More

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Teri

CAM00022I had a pretty significant moment with the Lord thirteen years ago.

I had been a Christ-follower for almost twenty years. I went to church regularly, tithed, served, read my devotions each day, taught a Bible study, and pretty much had my religious act together.

Problem was…I was bored out of my mind. Empty. Most of the time my service felt like an obligation. A burden. I  had no idea what joy or peace felt like.

I knew about God, but He felt like a distant cousin I only saw on Christmas and Easter.

I knew His Word , but they felt like dry words on a page and not the Living Word the Bible says it is.

I didn’t talk about it for a couple of reasons:

  1. People thought I had my stuff together . What would they say if they knew I was telling them stuff I wasn’t sure I believed myself? Would I make them stumble?
  2. I figured I was just doing it all wrong. It was my fault somehow and I just needed to work harder, pray harder, go to more Beth Moore Bible studies, attend more conferences, and serve in more areas and THEN my life would be fulfilling.

After another agonizing year of boredom, I did start talking. I started asking people, “Is this it? Is this all?” And, I started making my requests known to God, cause that’s what the Bible tells you to do.

What happened?

I fell apart. People starting thinking I was kinda weird and maybe didn’t have it all together. And, I felt some strange leadings in my heart I never felt before.

I thought they were indigestion, at first. Then I wondered if I really going Jesus coo-coo. And then, I thought I might actually be hearing from God.

WHAT?! God still speaks? NO way.

I thought that kind of thing was just for first century Palestine?

I mean, I had felt urges before, to pray for someone, or to call them to give them a little encouragement. But this…this was just weird.

It was like God was whispering something into the core of my being. It was still vague and fuzzy, but it stirred something in me I didn’t even know existed.

After another year of searching and seeking and asking and knocking (again, that’s what the Bible says to do), I heard THAT voice. I doubt anyone else would have heard it. But, it was as real to me as if someone in the room had spoken. Plain as day, it said,

THERE IS MORE.

Right after that, I read the verses that would forever change me. I had read them dozens of times before, but it was only after that word from the Lord the meaning made it’s way into my understanding.hope

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Far more abundantly…

I can imagine a lot. 

And that’s when I knew. There was more to this walk with Jesus. Much more. I also knew that somehow, someway I was going to have it. If there was indeed more to God than I had experienced, and much more than I could dream up, then I wanted it.

Bring it on. 

This pursuit of more has cost me everything. Sometimes it’s left me in absolute despair. Made me die to all of my selfish ambitions, regardless how noble they were.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

And God has given me true life, real, abundant, and joy-filled more than I could have asked or imagined.

It looks nothing like I thought it would. It’s very different, but oh-so-much better than I could have dreamed on my own.

I am so not saying that I’ve arrived at “more” and hang out there. Nope…

There is a war within me that rages. I find too often that the very thing I want to do is the very thing I don’t. Yet…

I know more of “more” than I did thirteen years ago. And, thirteen years from now, I know that I know that I know, I will experience even more of “more” than I do now.

That’s the promise. 

Salvation is a free gift – yours for the taking. 

Knowing the fullness and abundance of Jesus Christ – will cost you everything. 

I believe there are a lot of people out there right now asking the question, “Is there more?” I think it could be more people asking that question than ever before in history.

Yes. Yes. Yes. There is more.

I’ll talk about it in practical ways in the next post.

((Just so you’re not left hanging too much… The first step is to ASK for more of Him. Yep. It’s that easy.))

Mar31

Anything Left in Your Pockets?

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Teri

Teri in the Tetons

I just watched a documentary about one of my favorite humorists, Erma Bombeck.

From what I can tell, she was a dreamer. Her son said she was dedicated and diligent. A committed, hard working dreamer is hard to put down.

After graduating high school, Erma went to Ohio University to study Journalism. Every article she wrote for the school paper was rejected. She struggled to pass her English classes until finally one of her professors told her she just didn’t have what it takes to write.Erma_Bombeck

She left that school devastated. But, tried again at the University of Dayton, where she was encouraged greatly by one of her professors to write an article for the paper. She nearly didn’t do it for her fear of further rejection. She ended up writing it and pushing it under his door. A few days later when she ran into the professor, he said the three words that sustained her for the rest of her career, “You can write.”

And she did. Not only did she write 15 books, she published a column about being a stay at home mom that ultimately ran in 900 newspapers and was read by 300 million readers. I think of her as the original Seinfeld who gained her popularity by finding humor in the mundane.

Her accomplishments are incredible. However, the thing that struck me the most about this woman was the way her husband and kids spoke about her. There was great respect, fond memories, and even a little awe in their expressions. She was obviously a well-loved woman.

Erma died of kidney disease in 1996 and is greatly missed by her family and readers.

The documentary ended with Erma’s own words:

“I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this; “So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams unfufilled? Any unused talent that we gave you when you were born that you still have left ? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven’t spread around? And I will answer, “I’ve nothing left to return. I spent everything you gave me. I’m naked as the day I was born.”

I wonder what this world would look like if every person lived as though they wanted to spend everything God gave them?

How are you spending your life? your dreams? your talent? your love? Will you have anything left in your pockets?

Mar27

A Season of ‘RE’

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Teri

Teri in the TetonsThese past few months have been a time of redefining, refining, and realigning. That’s a lot of “RE”.

It has been one of the sweetest times with the Lord I can remember as we’ve spent a lot of time in quiet communion.

But, I can felt the wind shifting and know my sails are starting to billow once more. I am a wanderer, an explorer, an adventurer and I can feel myself straining to see what’s around the river bend.

One of the biggest lessons of my season of “RE” is a readjustment of the expectations of my own performance. I guess I got to thinking I was capable of much more than I really was. Or maybe it was that I thought I should be able to do much more?

I’ve been labeled ‘super-overachiever’ more than once. Okay, so more than a lot of times. Truth is, I have a achieved a lot. Not nearly as much as many others, but probably more than most.

It’s been really, really hard work. I love hard work. I love the feeling of accomplishment after you pour blood, sweat, tears, and life juice into something. And I’ve experienced some really wonderful fruit from that labor.

What I’m learning is when you work in rhythm with Jesus, the work isn’t hard and the fruit much more plentiful.

What do I mean? Honestly, I’m still in the process of figuring it out. But, I’ll try to explain. It’s pretty fresh and a bit rough, but here it is…

God said, “You are a dream guide who helps others toward their Kingdom dreams.”

I said, “Okay, so we’ll build a five-pronged approach to coaching; outreach, an academy, a dream ranch, a web portal, and a training/conference platform.”

God said, “Go on a Luke 10 journey.”

I said, “Okay, so we’ll go for 6 months in RVs. No, we’ll have to break it into smaller chunks. We’ll go into 40 day increments and it will be partly marketing, partly faith building, partly training, partly outreach, and partly coaching. Wow, that’s a lot of partly’s. Hummm…maybe we’ll have all the stops planned and camp. Or maybe we’ll have some of the stops planned and leave some for an Ask The Lord (ATL). Or maybe we should just get in the car and go?”

God said, “Write the stories I give you.”

I said, “I don’t know how. I don’t have time. I don’t know how to get them published. I don’t know how to edit. I don’t think I can do it.”

Do you see any patterns developing here? strong_woman

I was far too concerned with expected outcomes, and a little too unconcerned with the simplicity of obedience.

In this season of “RE”, God is realigning my expectations. I don’t have to have a programmed ministry with feasible methodology and processed sustainability. I don’t have to blog five times a week, every week, nor do I have to keep up with social media. I don’t need a projected plan one, three, and five years out. And my credentials don’t have to be newsworthy to be a powerhouse for the Kingdom of God.

I only need to unapologetically obey.

Not that those things I mentioned are bad. Nope. Not at all.

However, those things will get in the way if it is not what God is asking me to do.

And, that has been my story. I did want to be obedient, and for the most part, I have. However, if I were brutally honest, the other reason I’ve strived so hard is that I worried too much about what the world would think of my success or failure.

Ug….when God wants you to reevaluate your motives, it can get ugly!

Currently, I’m a single parent who works four small part-time jobs to try to make it financially. I have three beautiful children to love. I have incredible family and friends to do life with. I have a few dreamers to encourage. I have an awesome and mighty God to engage with and obey. And I’m trying to write the stories He gives me in the spaces in-between.

Right now, that is all I can manage and still be joyfully expectant and unapologetically obedient.

I pray each day for leading. I listen. I seek. Then I go about my day with a heart positioned for God’s interruption if He so pleases. And let me tell you, when God interrupts, He does it with great style and always with incredible results.

AHHHHHH…..Obedience, the new green…

Mar7

The Drums Beat

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Teri

CAM00022(I’ve been writing a bunch lately, just not many blog posts. Here’s something from yesterday’s journal. This is not only the cry of my heart, but the cry of almost every person I’ve coached over the past few years. Yes, there is more…)

In my heart, there is a longing…a hunger…something that lies dormant but springs to life at the slightest touch. All it takes is a whisper of wind to pass over to stoke it into flame again.

It’s the need to wander…the need to see, to learn…explore…experience.

It feels ancient…like it’s always been there…placed within me before time began.

And it lies wistful within me…waiting…longing…aching…hopeful for the time it is brought to life for more than just stolen moments of my existence.

It beats like a distant drum beckoning me to something…more.

Does everyone have this same burning within them? Or is it only a few? Is it only me?

Is it something I should continue to suppress or is it something I should fight to bring to life?

If I should allow it to breathe deeply, will it be like a slow burning fire and continually fill me? Or will it be like a shooting star and fade before I even have the chance to grab hold?

The ache within calls to me sometimes, but uses an unfamiliar name. I must know this name for it sparks something in my memory long forgotten. I strain to hear…to understand…but the cry gets drowned out by distractions and falls silent again.

Yet, the recollection of the call lingers.

If I really listened, what would the voice ask me to do? To be? Where would it tell me to go? And how would it tell me to live?

How would my world be different if I answered its cry? Would I find hardship or suffering? Would the way be fraught with danger and adventure? What would the journey cost me?

The drums beat louder as I wonder and dream. Embers of excitement begin to glow in the coals deep within me.

fire

Tiny flames of possibilities begin to ignite.

The light is not bright enough for me to see my future clearly. I can only make out dim shadows of potential and promise. Is what I see true or only the light playing tricks on me as shadows often do?

If I stay here, I am swallowed up in the soothing security of a life that is known to me. If I go, I walk into ways both uncomfortable and foreign. Will I go on to something better? Or will I ache for what I left behind?

The voice cries out again and this time I hear its call. Somewhere from the same ancient place within me, I know. The longing is bigger than me…larger than just my world…wider than just my path…higher than only my way.

There is something beyond my solitary journey.

There is something more…

Will I answer its call?

Jan28

God Is With Us

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Teri

CAM00022In the last post, I promised to write about the promised land.

I admit I’ve been staring at a blank screen for quite some time. It’s much bigger than I realized. I’m struggling to even define it.

So, I draw in a deep breath and do the only thing I can…try.

And, in the dullness of my thoughts and the blankness of my computer screen, it comes…

Part of the power of the promised land is that all God asks of me is to try. And in 300 words or less, a part, a slice, a smidgeon of description of the promised land is all I can accomplish.

God showed the Promised Land to the Israelites and said, “GO AND TAKE! IT’S YOURS!”

And all but two of them said, “IT IS TOO MUCH FOR US!”

God said, “I KNOW. GO AND TAKE FOR I AM WITH YOU.”

And the Israelites turned their backs, afraid to even attempt it.

One sure way to fail is to not try.

waterfallI was talking to my daughter today about how frustrated I am. I have so many dreams. There is so much stirring within my heart. I have a few skills and a little talent. Not much. Not enough for all that is stirring within me for sure. I’m an average joe. There’s nothing spectacular about my talent or abilities. I’m solid at best.

I told her I felt like there were a waterfall of ideas flowing through me, yet there was only a small pipe of skill to carry them.

She said, “I guess that means that your ideas will be flowing for a long time. It’s hard to drink from a water fall, but much easier to drink from a pipe that won’t run dry.” (Did I mention that I think my daughter has the soul of an ancient poet?)

Ah…promised land. It’s the freedom in knowing all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and trust God will be there.

My pipe isn’t as narrow as it was two years ago. I’m less afraid. I’m more skilled. There’s even been a bit of fruit.

So, I’ll keep trying to do what I do. What exactly that is I’m not entirely sure. It’s part encouragement, part challenge, part testimonial, and part informational about taking a Kingdom dream journey. I’ll keep on because I intend to be even better at it a year from now.

God is with us and will never leave or forsake us. I won’t turn my back on that.

What things are stirring within you that seem too big to take on? Have you turned your back?

What would happen if you put one foot in front of the other and trusted God?

Jan18

Driven

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Teri

Teri in the Tetons

As most of us do at the beginning of a new year, I’ve been pondering the lessons of the past few years. What we learn in the last season becomes the launchpad for the next.

As I look back, I realize it often felt like God was dismantling everything I knew about myself and Him. And I now understand why.

God needed to open my eyes to see what motivated my actions, responses, and choices.

I’ve spent most of my 40+ years as a very driven woman. Driven by fear of what might happen, what might not happen, and the terror of not doing it right.  Just about everything I did was to prove to myself  and everyone else that I was somehow worthy of God’s love.

I find that driven people ask the questions, “What if I do this wrong?” and “What if I disappoint myself or others?”

Driven people are often compelled to focus on the faults of others. They do this so they can make themselves feel better for what they lack and so that they can avoid looking inwardly.

Driven people have an insatiable thirst to fill the hole left by their own inadequacies. They are driven by the pain of their insecurities.

They often become super-overachievers or super-underachievers. Either way, they will do just about anything they can to fit in so they can feel the approval they so dearly seek.

Driven people have don’t horrific things in the name of Jesus. I have done horrific things believing myself todesert be righteous.

I worked as hard as I knew how to be loving, patient, kind, gracious, peaceful, and self controlled.  I accomplished a bunch of good things that didn’t last because my heart was empty.

By God’s grace, there came a point I was too empty to do those things anymore. No matter how much I tried to pull myself up by the bootstraps, there was no more strap left to pull.

That was when I realized I was doing the right things, but not from the right heart. I was operating out of duty, obligation, and fear.

It was a very dark time of my spiritual walk. It felt like God was punishing me or had abandoned me entirely.

I’ve been talking to a lot of dreamers lately who are walking through darkness. Their human effort and drive isn’t sufficient anymore. They are coming to the end of their own ability.

Looking back, I can see that allowing me to come to the end of my human effort was the most loving thing God could do. It was when there was no more drive left in me that I saw it for what it was; an empty woman trying to fill herself.

I want to encourage you – THIS IS GOD’S LOVE SPILLING OUT ON YOU. This is grace.

I know it feels a lot more like a dry and weary desert land. But, believe me, it is love.

You have to go through the desert in order to get to the promised land.

It’s part of dying to self and your own ambition. It’s necessary in order to see what being Spirit-filled and led means.

The desert sucks. I know. But, the promised land is worth it!

We’ll talk about the promised land in the next post. But, until then…

What is driving you today?

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  Psalm 63:1

Jan17

If I Don’t

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Teri

CAM00022I spent last weekend at a lovely cabin near a frosty lake with twelve incredible women. We talked, we laughed, we shed just a few tears, and we enjoyed Jesus together.

Can I just say, “Ahhhh…”

The retreats started as a seed of an idea in my head about thirteen years ago when I had this overwhelming ache in my heart for more of God. I knew how to read the Bible, and do church, and pray, and study, and do most of the things I should and avoid doing most of the things I shouldn’t…but I didn’t really know God.

I was doing the Christian thing, but I didn’t know Jesus.

You know what I mean?

So, I was reading about how Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness to pray. Everything in my soul cried out for that quiet time. But, I had absolutely no idea how to be quiet. Be still and know that I am God, right? Nope. Not a clue on how to do that.

So, the retreats stemmed from my own inability to search for more of Christ.

A little over eight years ago, I meekly asked a group of women to join me in this journey to find more of Christ. I suggested a retreat that would be a safe place to explore some of the old spiritual disciplines others had used to search the deep things of God. They agreed and we set off on the adventure. We fumbled, we stumbled, we said things we shouldn’t, we didn’t say the things we should, yet, God will be found.

Well over a dozen retreats later, the group has grown to twelve powerful women who know Jesus more intimately now than they did before.

Two thoughts struck me as I looked around the room and marveled at these women;

“We’ve found more of Christ and He wanted to be found.” 

And, “I can’t screw this up.”

God takes my feeble attempts and somehow turns them into something beautiful. He takes my mistakes and redeems them.

The only way to mess this up is if I don’t try.

My job is to keep pushing on, keeping getting up after I fall, keep apologizing and repenting of my weaknesses, and keep going.

I see such incredible fruit from such weak attempts. It gives me courage to try again.

And that speaks of the deep things of God…

Abundant life is not found in our perfection but in

our imperfection being perfected.

What will you try today?

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”  Ephesians 3:20-21